April 14, 2017….a day that I will not forget. Originally my plan is to spend my Holy Week vacation here in Quezon City alone, I was just excited because I’ve got the chance to use the internet connection of my brother to download movies, music and also clean the house, and simply spending time being alone. I am an avid fan of suspense movies and documentaries just so you know. But aside from that I’ve got the chance also to do things in private…. haha you know what I mean. It was Friday morning and I was too busy surfing the internet and suddenly I got this initiative to visit a forbidden site (well actually not really forbidden = P- – N Sites is what I mean especially for men). Out of my curiosity a chat box from the website got my attention and wanted to know what is happening there.
From that moment I met that person…a sense of happiness
That time I just uttered “O my… even on a Holy Week!!! WTH these people are crazy”. But since I am alone at home I tried to join the chat room and see what these guys are into. And just for fun, I chatted them who among them are near in my location, most of these guys are wanted to do sensual actions on the webcam unfortunately I do not have any webcam and I don’t like doing it, I repeated my chat to them but no reply at all until after few minutes one person caught my attention and that person told me that we are on the same location. At that time I got silent, then there there is this feeling of fear with little excitement asking myself….what if I tried, nothing will be lost. So I agreed to meet up with this person. At that time there is a sense of excitement inside that I just cant wait. The person ask for my picture and so do I just to make sure that it is not fake. The twist there is that I am not the only person who will be meeting with this chat mate that I have just met online, and now we are three who will be meeting up in the agreed place. At first I am hesitant because honestly I am really not into in this kind of stuff but my mind is telling me that nothing will be lost if you tried, so I still agreed.
We were brought by this person to the condo unit and with awe the location was really good and looks peaceful, I even told this person that I wanted to live in a place like this. Of course at first we were just talking anything under the sun but on the back of my mind I am expecting that there is something to happen. A one night stand with this person is first time that I experienced it, but it is not all about that, I’ve got the chance to know this person well and made me realize that this person is cool though horny….haha.
A friendship that has started……
The next day I texted this person saying thank you for letting me sleep overnight. Then it was the start of what I call establishing friendship. At that moment I knew there is something on this person that I cannot simply explain, a sense of happiness that from that time I really wanted to make friend with this one, it is not because that there is something happened to us last night but because of this person’s attitude and aura. We became text mate and friends on social media not noticing that I am already sharing part of who I am. To tell you honestly guys I am a quiet and discreet person, I am really not into social gatherings and mostly going with person I do not know, but this one is different. We have agreed again to meet the next Saturday and watch movie together which is actually today (the day that I am writing this blog) but sadly it comes into a halt. This person told me that I should not come over and to never message again. I got surprised all of a sudden upon reading that message and ask this person what was the problem, I don’t know if I said something offensive while we are talking over the social media. I really don’t know, it was really gloomy.
The feeling of emptiness inside……
That person told me that he will be going back to the south of the metro to live with this persons family. But I really sense that it was not the real reason, that person blocked me from the social media and other related stuff where I have an account as if that I will stalk to this person and do nasty things but aside from that if that is the only reason there no need for this person to block me on all of this persons online account, I felt that I was a to threat to this person. Well in the first place I am not that type of person and I do not have that kind of personality. That person actually added me on the first place on the social media and then blocked me which is quite awkward. Just to tell you guys I am a person who senses if you are saying the truth or not but I am not judgmental. I refused what this person is asking me and I wanted to talk personally to this person. I was able to visit the condo unit of this person on a Thursday afternoon but that person is currently not around. I tried calling the number but refused to answer and telling me to go away because this person has no time to meet me and what that person said is final, but I still refused and waited for three hours in the stairs near to the persons unit, I even texted this person that I will still wait even if you did not come to your unit. That moment the escalated tension between us cooled down when we met again.
This time you can feel the coldness from this person’s emotion. We talk and I tried if we can fix things up even though still puzzled of what really happened that all of a sudden that person needed to do this. I even ask this person if I am the reason of leaving this place but this person told me it is not. The happiness and excitement that I felt for a week was then replaced with silence and regret. I am just starting to make friends with this person and I know and I feel that this person is awesome but I guess it would be very hard for me to convince what I wanted to happen
We have just met for only for a week and yet I feel that we have known each other for a long time. It was really sad that this person is cutting the connection between us. Though I am still hoping that one day this person will realize that I am always here ready to care and find time in exchange of nothing. I am still texting that person every morning and night hoping that one day this person will realize that on the moment we met, this person already met someone who is a true friend that is willing to stay.
After this post I do not know what will happen next, but I always pray that I will still be able convince this person and bring back the way things we have started. But if that did not happen then I guess this will take time for me to get over with this. But for as long I can fight for this I will do it even if hope is frail.
(For that person you know who you are, I will wait)